


House spouse tony

by Gracefanfics



Category: Avengers, Ironman, MCU
Genre: Aromatic natasha, BI STEVE, Dialogue Heavy, House spouse tony stark, Kisses, Mother hen Thor, Natasha just wants her friends to be happy, ace clint, tony coos at technology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracefanfics/pseuds/Gracefanfics
Summary: Pepper is upset that her usual morning routine is constantly being interrupted by the avengers.Natasha wants to set up everyone so they can be happy.Clint just wants to get breakfast without seeing tony and pepper making out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Characters not mine.
> 
> Not edited. 
> 
> Tony is pepper's house spouse and I will fight everyone on this. 
> 
> Sorry Rhodey isn't in this chapter. He'll show up later.
> 
> I really should be working on my lightwoods siblings fic but whatever.

Tony wasn't sure where the idea that he was the sex crazed one in his relationship with pepper when it was pepper that was currently pinning him against the counter. Which okay to be fair wasn't as sexual as it sounded. In fact they weren't even fully making out. They were just trading lazy kisses in between murmur of which meetings were today and which tony needed to attend and what projects needed to happen. Whose turn it was to visit the stark employees.

They were just “discussing” when pepper would be home tonight when Clint walked in, made extremely rude gagging noises and said “get a room.” 

Pepper stopped kissing tony, only to rest her head on Tony's. “We had…”

“2.45 minutes left.” 

“I hate your friends.” She said pointedly. Loud enough for Clint to clearly hear her. 

“Fuck you too lady.” Clint replies, rummaging through the cupboards for whatever he eats for breakfast. 

“You don't hate Bruce.” Tony counted.  
“Dr. Banner is a productive member of stark industries who hasn't left his specialized lab since you kidnapped him.”

“I didn't kidnap him. He followed me home and you”, tony emphasized you with another peck “said I could keep him.” 

“Shut up.” Pepper told him, trying to contain a grin and started kissing him again. After all they still had a minute 11 seconds left. 

Clint made gagging sounds again. Pepper vowed to have Rhodey murder him. Andd time was up. Pepper pulled away. “It is your turn to make the rounds. “ 

Tony pressed a cup of coffee into her hands . “Will that be all ms. Potts?”

“That will be all mr. Stark.” 

And as she walked to the elevator “you don't hate Natasha!” 

/////

Tony reached for his own cup of coffee. And took a minute to pat the machine and coo at it. When he turned, he contained his surprise scream to a noise in the back of his throat. (He only spilled his coffee a little) because NATASHA WAS RIGHT THERE. 

“I have a heart problem Natalia!” 

“You guys are gross.” She responded and at Tony's outraged squawk (because excuse the fuck out of me he and pepper were the cutest ever.) quickly continued “ but in a cute way. And this makes less work for me. “

“Less work for you?” Tony questioned not really following but he had had only one cup of coffee today.

“I'm setting these idiots up.” 

Clint at her answer, looked up from his bowl of cereal and quickly tried to stand up. Only to trip over the chair legs and fall on his face. But even as he fell he was protesting. “No! Nononono. Tasha you are not doing on that kick again. You know what happened last time. NATASHA!” 

“What you don't want to be a house spouse? It's working out so well for Anthony.” 

Tony turned on his heel to retreat to his own lab when Clint launched himself off the floor and at Natasha. The last thing he he heard as the elevator doors closed was Natasha cackling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited  
> Characters not mine  
> Updates happen whenever I have new material

When tony emerged from his lab (in a timely manner thank you very much. He had to visit the stark employees today. Which meant significant less lab time then normal) it was to find Clint nursing a black eye with a doomed moppy expression. And the rest of the avengers hovering and fretting. (Thor seemed especially worried. Which was a surprise.) Except for Natasha who was telling Clint to not be a baby and this wouldn't be like last time. 

Clint kept replying that they were all doomed. 

“I take it Natasha won the argument.” Tony announced to the room. 

“What argument?” Steve asked the same time Natasha replied with  
“I always win.”  
Which prompted Clint protesting she didn't always win. Tony ignored them to answer cap. 

“Something about setting us up as house spouses.”  
Tony made his way through the kitchen to make a smoothie. Today was definitely a kale pineapple protein day. 

“Tony gets a pass. He and pepper are cute.” 

“They're gross. They make out against the counter in the morning.” Clint replied. 

“Hey!” Tony protested at steves grossed out look. “Bird brains stretching the truth. We were exchanging our morning good bye kisses before she left for work.” 

“There is no shame is showing off love.” Thor replied. While dumbing what looked like all the ice in the freezer on the table in front of Clint. “For your face.” 

“I don't need that much! It's just a black eye! “ 

“Head injuries are very serious to humans. Lady Darcy explained it to me. Even a small bump can be fatal. “ he pleaded with Clint until the archer gave up and pretended to stick his face in the small mountain of ice. Once Thor was satisfied with Clint’s care he turned to Natasha. 

“What is this house spouse? The words do not translate.” 

“The stay at home parent in a romantic relationship.” Natasha explained. She tilted her head “you and Jane still together?” 

“Yes. Our love blossoms still.” 

“Then you get a pass too. “ 

“Wait. “ Steve interrupted. “Why is it so bad that Natasha wants to set us up with people?” 

“She's done it before. And it ended by direct order from fury because the shield base had a shit ton of messy breakups and I mean that literally because we're all spies and assassins and you don't want to combine that with drama.” 

“It's not my fault they couldn't work it out. Besides. This time it'll be different. “ 

“How?” Clint demanded “how is it going to be different this time Tasha! “ 

“No team set ups and and you all are going to write down your preferences.” 

Clint looked hesitantly hopeful. “That...might work.”  
“Of course it'll work. I learn from my mistakes.”  
Clint’s scoff made Natasha advance on him but Thor got in between the two.  
“Peace lady Natasha. You're friend has a head injury.”  
Natasha glared at Clint while he stuck his tongue at her behind Thor’s back.

Natasha produced a notebook from seemingly nowhere and started passing it around. 

Tony gulped the rest of his smoothie to keep from screaming. Why. Why was everyone so determined to undermine his clean energy efforts. 

While Bruce was writing he spoke for the first time. When had he gotten here? Tony hadn't even noticed he was in the kitchen.  
“Does this mean we can set you up with someone?” He asked Natasha before handing the book back.

“No. Having a romantic partner is a strategic weakness and I eat my bed partners.” 

Steve looked stricken. “You do?” 

“Wouldn't you like to find out?” She smirked before sauntering out of the room. 

Tony checked the time. Actually did scream then and ran out of the room. Shit he was late to meet his company people. And he had promised pepper to do the rounds today. Shitshitshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thor uses the allspeak to speak and understand English. 
> 
> *i actually have a fic in the works where Thor just mother hens all the avengers. Because odins beard humans are so fragile and none of these humans take care of themselves. I am not yet sure if it'll comply with this docs universe or not. Guess we'll just have to see.
> 
> *natasha is joking. She doesn't eat people but I do headcanon that she has rather violent tendency. A left over product of the red room training. So she really try's to avoid sleeping with other people unless it's for the job.
> 
> *tony totally follows those insane diet tends because it's supposed to be healthy. Hence his gross smoothies


End file.
